I had an epiphany
Recently, I had an epiphany. It has taken me these 43 years to come to this understanding and to tell the truth I am still struggling with it a little bit. I fear that I may not even be able to state it clearly. It goes something like this: I am good at what I do, I may not get rich and I may not be doing what I thought I was going to be doing but in the end I am good at what I do.
As a young man I thought I was bound for fame. As a young married I thought I was bound for a pulpit. Neither of these have come true. I am not disapponted that I am not a stand-up comic. Not too long ago I saw a friend of mine in action as a stand-up and I knew instantly that that would not have been the life for me. It is too hard and the need for that much public approval must be crushing on the spirit.
The pulpit piece has been more difficult to come to terms with. I lead so many people of so many different ages in worship and I am not a rabbi. Clasically, rabbis were teachers and so there are those who would say, “Michael you ARE a Rabbi, you are a teacher.” Yes, well that may be true in some 2,000 year-old sense but that is not true today. Today a rabbi is someone employed to be a rabbi or better yet has the title Rabbi bestowed in one way or another, fomr one school or another. I ain’t that! I amy lead prayer but I do so as a layperson and without the remuneration that often comes with the pulpit.
So, therefore what is this epiphany? What is it I came to understand I am good at?
I am a great teacher. I fantasize about being more, about being a noted speaker, lecturer, author and expert but for now I am a teacher and administrator. In any given week I work with students between the ages of 5 and 80 and I can communicate, lead and inspire them all. I do not hit it out of the park 100% of the time but my batting average is bound to be better than most Major Leaguers.
I teach Torah, I teach history, I teach Hebrew (in my own way), I teach meschlikheit, I teach a lot of people a lot of things and I do it well. Heck, I am even called upon frequently to teach teachers. But I am not Bill Gates and I am not Jerry Seinfeld (and when I look at my checking account I, like most people, I wish that I could be one of those guys) but I am me.
I frequesntly teach my students to speak well of themselves and the things they are good at. The example I always give is that if you were to ask Michael Jordan in 1990 who the best basketball player in the world was, and he answered anything but himself, well, he would not have been telling the truth. Ask Tiger Woods about the current crop of professional Golfers. He probably won’t give you a straight answer, our society would frown on such honesty but if he looked you straight in the eye and told the 100% truth, Tiger would have to say Tiger! My advice is if you are good at something, admit it. Be proud of it! It has taken me a long time to come to do that myself.
I am a great teacher. I touch people. I move people. I make them laugh and cry in the space of 5 minutes and have them leave with a new wrinkle in their brain. Do I wish it all paid more? $ure! Am I looking for ways to make it all more profitable? You bet. But for now I am finally content in the knowledge that I am good at what I do. I make mistakes (Hello, I am human, aren’t I?) but I learn from them and move on. I know that I can walk into a room take it over and leave with a sense of success. I cannot do that on that basketball court. I cannot do that in most places but in an educational setting I can do it and I do do it all the time! Good for me! Really, good for me and I can finally say it and mean it.
It is not glamorous. It is not cool particularly but it is what it is and I might as well be as good at it as I can be. I have a way with kids not everyone has that. Good for me! Really, good for me! I can get adults to pay attention and learn a little something. Good for me!
I don’t know what the future holds, none of us do. But I know that I will remain in front of people sharing what I know, sharing my love of teaching and more importantly my love of all things Jewish and hopefully inspiring someone somewhere to aim a little higher than I have and see someone I taught end up in either Mr. Seinfeld’s or Mr. Gate’s neighborhood