The Truth About Options Within Jewish Education
Dear Jewish Parents,
I apologize. Really, on behalf of about 80% of the Jewish Educators I know, I extend a personal and genuine heart-felt apology. You have been sold a bill of goods and you need to know that someone somewhere recognizes this deception and wants to make amends.
The bottom line is this: Just because a Jewish school exists does not necessarily mean that it is right for your child or your family.
In pursuit of numbers good, responsible, thoughtful Jewish Educators forsake what they know to be true and they try to convince you, at every turn that their school is right for your child and your family. They do this at every meeting and under every circumstance. They tout the party line at every dinner, every meeting and whenever they can get themselves into print. They know they are wrong and yet in pursuit of those numbers they do it anyway.
There are no schools that escape this canard. We’re all guilty. “Our day school is the right place for your kid. Oh sure, we all wear black coats and hats all day and your family surfs thrice weekly but that shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Our three-day-per-week Hebrew school requires 80% attendance and your daughter just qualified for International Tai Kwon Do competition, but we’ll wave all the days she misses traveling to and from Hokkaido.”
“We know that your family loves Bialik and all we teach is siddur Hebrew. It doesn’t matter, I am sure your child will find the way into Modern Hebrew Literature through the limited prayer vocabulary we offer.”
“Oh, your child has special needs? Well, even though our day school is shrinking and can’t even offer P.E. five days per week, I am sure we will find a way to keep your child on task and growing; limited resources shouldn’t be a problem.”
Name the problem, go ahead, I dare you. I can find you a Jewish school somewhere in the U.S. that has turned back flips to prove that the problem isn’t a problem and that no matter their general course of study, the child will fit in with little or no problem.
Are the people saying these things liars? No, absolutely not! Rather, it has been my experience that they love children and genuinely want to educate as many as possible. The truly believe that what they have to offer is as good as it gets and that they really have your child’s best interest at heart. They also know they have shrinking budgets, aging supporters and ever more limited options. They see no contradictions, rather they see challenges and it is your child who becomes “the challenge.”
Parents honestly assessing the situation ought to see that there is more going on. Now, I have met parents who relish the opportunity to push the school to its limits. They know their child is in one way or another just outside the norm for the school they are looking at and they chose to enroll their child anyway. After all, they ask themselves, why would the school exist if it did not want a child just like mine? They love their child and think not one moment about stretching already limited resources even further, thereby thinning out the offerings for other children. Drilling a hole in one end of the boat ends up sinking the whole boat. However the majority of parents are not looking for an education, a Jewish education, for their children and do not want to hamper anyone else’s kids along the way. Honest assessment can be scary, by the way, but it is the least you owe your child.
Now the schools find themselves competing for even smaller resources and letting teachers go. So, your child will not get the benefit of working with teachers who have already proven themselves able to work with your child. Rather, fewer people are going to be expected to do more with less. Again, this is nothing new. This situation has been bemoaned by others. I just want parents to think about how it is going to affect their own children. Every school is cutting back, every school. What can parents do? Parents are already stressed, looking for new jobs, hoping to hold on to our retirement accounts (as worthless as they may be at this point), make sure everyone is covered by health insurance and educating children. With those extra 22 minutes in the day what can parents realistically do to help children with their education?
First of all, analyze the school your child is currently in. Do not stay just because you have always been there. Do not stay because you like the principal. Do not stay unless you really should. Make sure that your child is getting whatever he or she should be getting. Ask hard questions, stay after the faculty and staff. Do not let a message go unreturned. Demand time with the Principal or the Head of School. Children will not always know what is going on and will not always be able to tell you what they are or are not getting. You need to stay on top of the situation. The minute that things seem amiss, respond! Don’t assume you misread the situation or that something else is afoot; get right on it. If you live in a big city with many options, explore them! You owe it to your child and her or his future to make sure you are in the right place. If you live in a small city with limited options, the answer is the same, EXPLORE THEM! If your town is so small that no other options exist, create them. Go to your rabbi, your synagogue board, your neighbors, your local Baptist preacher, go to anyone who will listen. Someone will have an answer. If you cannot find an answer for your child, get on-line, we Jews are a very internet friendly group. There is a saying in the Bible, “Ayn hadash tachat hashemesh. (There is nothing new under the sun.)” There is a book, or a group, or a person who has gone through what you are going through, Google them! You need to find them, get their support and team up to fix your current situation.
Finally, do not stay in your current situation unless you are sure it is the best situation for you, your child and, your family. Schools will, as I said at the beginning, raise their defenses and do everything they can to convince you that their school is the right school for your child. Trust yourself; trust your gut. If you know that that isn’t true, don’t stay there.